Missing Home

Henry has told me several times now that he's ready to move back to Utah. He misses his family and friends. I think he's longing for something familiar. He wants to play with his cousins. Have a play date with his friends. Eat dinner at his Grandma an Grandpa's. Play the Wii with his aunts and uncles.

Can't say I disagree.

I was sitting in church today pitying myself... thinking how sad it is that I haven't had five minutes to myself in the past six weeks. Thinking how much we left behind and how long it will be before we get to see people again. I was feeling sorry for Henry and his lack of a little best buddy to play with. I was thinking how weird our ward is and how smelly the building is. I was sad that Joe was at work again and sad that we can't have a date night because we don't have a babysitter. And frustrated that I'm not wealthy enough to furnish and decorate our house.

And then the talks were about the pioneers and the sacrifices they made to come to Utah to establish Zion. One of the speakers told stories about a pioneer woman who began to cross the plains with a large family. She was forced to leave one of her children in a shallow grave somewhere along the way. Every time she heard a coyote she retched at the thought of what might happen to her son's remains. She lost two other children to mountain fever and her husband grew weary from the condition as well. She prayed every night that he would not die and leave her alone.

Theses same pioneers were likely feeling similar to Henry and I at the outset of their journey. Sad to have left the comforts of home. Missing their families. Missing their friends. Missing the familiarity of the place they called home. I can tell you that this alone feels a bit depressing at times. But this was the least of their worries. The pioneers continued to endure through physical hardship as they crossed treacherous terrain often while attempting to manage untreatable medical maladies. And for those who arrived at their destination safely, they did not unpack in a beautiful home, sleep on a comfortable bed and take a warm shower. Instead they endured continuous hardship.

Today I am more grateful for the sacrifices of the Mormon Pioneers than I ever have been because now I understand a minuscule portion of the loneliness they must have felt along the way.

The pioneer anthem, Come Come ye Saints beautifully portrays the pioneer spirit of enduring hardship with vigor.

Come, come, ye saints, no toil nor labor fear;
But with joy wend your way.
Though hard to you this journey may appear,
Grace shall be as your day.
Tis better far for us to strive our useless cares from us to drive;
Do this, and joy your hearts will swell -
All is well! All is well!
Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?
'Tis not so; all is right.
Why should we think to earn a great reward if we now shun the fight?
Gird up your loins; fresh courage take.
Our God will never us forsake;
And soon we'll have this tale to tell-
All is well! All is well!
We'll find the place which God for us prepared,
Far away, in the West,
Where none shall come to hurt or make afraid;
There the saints, will be blessed.
We'll make the air, with music ring, Shout praises to our God and King;
Above the rest these words we'll tell -
All is well! All is well!
And should we die before our journey's through,
Happy day! All is well!
We then are free from toil and sorrow, too;
With the just we shall dwell!
But if our lives are spared again to see the Saints their rest obtain,
Oh, how we'll make this chorus swell-
All is well! All is well!
 
I don't pitty myself. I have arrived in beautiful, fun, sunny Florida with my healthy beautiful family and I am more than happy to be here and more than grateful that my journey did not include any real hardship to speak of.

I am grateful for the pioneers and grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ which is the foundation of my nearly perfect life.

I still miss you all terribly.