I am nearly a month shy of my 5th anniversary with Type I diabetes. I think I should be proud to say that diabetes has hardly changed my life. Nevertheless, it remains a constant in my life.
Every day, as most of you know, I check my blood sugar levels by pricking my finger and squeezing a small amount of blood onto a test strip; I do this 5-10 times. At night, before I go to bed, I give myself a shot of Lantus. Every time I eat any food, I give myself a shot of Humalog. And, any time I mess up, I either eat to make up for too much insulin or I take more insulin.
The downside to this routine is not the shots anymore. The downside is the moments when my blood sugar levels are too low. The moments when I'm refusing sugar, telling Joe I hate him for forcing me to eat when I don't feel like it, even though I know I need it, all while laying on the floor crying uncontrolably. It's impossible to explain the feeling of knowing you need to do something, yet the inability to do anything; the fear of what might happen if no one notices.
Then there's the long term complications that aren't even worth talking about because I'm trying to avoid them altogether.
Am I happy? Yes.
Do I require a cure to diabetes in order to live a full and happy life? No.
Would it be convenient if I were cured? Yes.
Less scary to live without diabetes? Yes.
Nearly three years ago I wrote an opinion piece for the Deseret News about diabetes and stem cell research. It, amazingly, is still floating around on the web. I think it's appropriate that I link to it here, so you understand where I'm coming from when I say, More Hope.
So, when my Dad called me and told me to watch this video about a potential cure for diabetes, I couldn't resist. When I watched it the first time, I cried. True, this is not the first potential cure, but it is yet another reason to hope that a cure is possible. If the most recent news doesn't produce a cure, there will be more research and more opportunity for cures.
There is still room for hope.
4 comments:
Heidi wow... I love reading your blog. I don't think people realize what diabetics go through we don't see those hard times. You are an amazing person! Thanks for the info. :)
I'm so glad that you shared you comments on your life and diabetes. You were so amazing to call and listen to me about my gestational diabetes scare with Evan, which turned out to be nothing. I did feel scared, and I still have dreams that I have diabetes- probably because of all of the families that I care for at the hospital who have just found out that their child has type 1 diabetes. I am really excited about the potential cures they are finding, and I only have seen a fraction of what it must be like to live with this disease on a daily basis. You truly are inspiring.
Thanks...not only for this blog post but also for the article you wrote and linked to. I remember when Aaron told me you were in the hospital and had just been diagnosed with diabetes; I was worried and concerned. Thank you for your winning attitude and for your loving husband who takes such good care of you too. I, too, hope they find a cure!
I'm sure you know that I've seen the scary side of diabetes. Every time I curse my Celiac Disease I remind myself that it's much better than some other options. I am SO glad that you take care of yourself as well as you do - however frustrating and difficult it is at times. I know that when you've got 40 years of bad habits, even losing a leg - and almost your life - still isn't always enough to make you try harder. Even if the cure doesn't come while my dad's is around, I will pray for one to be developed eventually.
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